Tuesday, June 1, 2010

To all my boy friends!

Well if you have not noticed the space between 'boy' and 'friends' and you are expecting something cheesy  here,you are wrong.This silly grin on your face will soon halt on a serious note.

I was heavily grieved today after reading another dowry debacle of a 23 year old who was murdered barbarously by a satan who unfortunately had become her husband,just some 3 hours before. Shame on humanity!There are atleast 5 cases of dowry deaths daily on my local newspaper itself.And we proudly boast that our literacy rate is increasing.Damn it! If you are incapable of feeding another person in your family who's gonna be your other half  for the rest of your life,why the hell you sought to marry?How can you sell your soul for a hefty sum or an Indigo Manza or a Diamond ring when you can't manage to have them all by your own very self. Even if it's not you but your parents why don't you stand against something which is verily immoral? Why you 'kuldeepaks' end up burning an innocent heart?Sorry, but if you can't stop all this (atleast in your case)then you do not qualify enough,neither morally nor legally to tie knots(with any girl whatsoever).Be a GAY man! Yeah,you read it right-Be a GAY you looser!

Your overwhelmingly patriarchal attitude depicts nothing but your feeble-mindedness. I'm not asking you to be a feminist but be human atleast.I remember a (female) friend of mine whose scooty once skid away due to rains.A gang of guys(who appeared to be from good families) was standing at the road side.Just when one of them came forward to help her up(respect to him!),the other 'decent' people shouted aloud "abe paagal hai kya,ladki hai,pitegaa____".???.There are so many incidents like this.And these very people never loose a chance to pass comments on girls,or to flirt or to whistle or to even abuse them at public places.The other henious crimes knows no bound.Should I feel pity for their moms and sis?

I admit you are a smarter sex,and we the dumber one (what if we grab top ranks in even the toughest examinations of the country).We compete with you and make our way to various engineering/medical colleges and universities.But in the end ,we are WOMEN.A greater percentage of us will have to leave our job for our families.And we do, because we understand,we care,we love,we sacrifice and we believe (in you).Ain't this the reason that you love your mom so much?The irony is that you claim yourself as the superior sex.But do you really think you are?

So all 'maa kaa laadlaas' if you had the patience to read this all,and have come upto this point,do give it a thought! Learn to respect women iff you wanna get back the same.

PS: I was very enraged today.Mujhe gussa bauhat aata hai :(

PS: I had no intentions to hurt any body.I know all guys are not the same.I have a lot many good people around me.My apologies to them and to you iff you are one of them.

PS: I know all girls are not good. A ' Get well soon' message to all of them.


  1. Well!! personally, I hate such dowry stuff.I read the news on murders and suicides on dowry. Such practices, which is so rooted in society should stop at some point..
    theres no pointing in telling about "literacy" and then following some strange tradition.

  2. This is well written.. perhaps every youngsters will have to make his positive contribution to eradicate this menace of dowry.. you have made the right appeal.. well done! Saumya.. thanks for being on A Little More than Ordinary..

  3. @sorcerer: thank you for being here!

    @RS: thank you so much sir for your encouraging words!

  4. What is happening here in Indian education system is just testing the memory power of students rather than developing them as good individuals . The guy/gal who has more memory power becomes highly literate, but without any behavioral impact on the good values they learnt.

  5. Correctly said sir!....thank you for being here.

  6. y Well..there's no place for such a

    disgusting crime in a civil socity.

    The Youths have to come forward to
    eradicate the dowery system. Your concerns
    are genuin. But I don't think women are less
    competent than men . Somya ji, both are
    equal.I consider that nature is perfect
    \ and mother nature can't discriminate on
    gender basis. Anybody can be as much
    smart as one thinks.

  7. Dowry is more of a right than a crime to many and the fact is the 'literate' are the ones who demand dowry more...

    I feel the girl or the girl's family should take the first step and refuse the guy if he demands dowry..

  8. attack the problem,and the reasons for the problem...it ws more like attacking those who are creating problem...evn in that case a further analysis is needed
    among the lower strata dowry cases happen because of the backwardness...while in d case of upper strata,its bcoz of d social stima attached to it...there are places where a young educated person,if refusing to take dowry,will be labelled as a rebel and stuff...there are more complications and stuff,more than that meets the eye...many times there are female sides which are desperate to give dowry..
    I am very much determined(pretty sure actually) that I wont indulge in such an act,but I know friends around me who said its diff for them to avoid it...understand d complexities...target teh root causes and then erase dis evil

  9. Hi Saumya, thats very right that we are wondering and happy abt the increased literacy rate, but we are nt considering the education increase rate.. education is something different frm what we learn frm books..i mean subject books.. needs to be improved..

    and i liked ur abOUT ME...nice one saumya..keep writing..:)

  10. @virendra singh ji: obviously both the sex are equal...but the equality has not yet been achieved...thank you for reading!

  11. @Dipa: truly said that the literates demand it more...I'll certainly never hook up with a guy who demands such stuff...but what actually happens is that parents are more worried about marrying their daughters before the stipulated age...and so they have accepted this menace(unwillingly though)...their worry is obvious...so I believe it is the 'guy'(and his family)who should understand!

  12. @pyaasa sajal:"attack the problem,and the reasons for the problem...it ws more like attacking those who are creating problem."....I cudn't get you...

    it is 'WE' who create problems...and so 'WE' have to sort it...awaken your conscience...do not demand such stuff...and the problem is solved!...I know its tough these days to do good things...but you can try...it's not a 'rebel' kinda thing(as you said),it's being 'human'...

    I'm happy you won't indulge in it.And I wish you keep your words!

  13. @Being Pramoda: thank you for supporting my views and for your kind words.Stay happy!

  14. @Marinela Reka: thank you so much!

  15. with none of my intention to defend any of those ppl who r involved in this heinous acts but u r certainly missing the role of women in these affairs which is as cruel as the male counterpart.
    n i dont think an appeal of this kind is going to make any difference no matter how powerful the post may be! the women hav to fight for their own reasons .they have to b economically independent n have to gather courage to talk to their parents n say no to the marriages which r actually a bargain.n m sure the "boy friends" r going to support in this cause. thats my solution but i appreciate the concern .

  16. Saumya....u actually didnt get me completely..maybe I failed to convey...all I felt was that even though u spoke of good intentions but u didnt really explore d complexities of dis issue...its easy to treat everything in black and white but thats nt wat d real picture is...

  17. @maverick: i agree that women are equally involved...my appeal is directly to the grooms/guys...if they'll understand they can make their family understand which includes their moms grandmoms,aunties or their male couterparts...

    u said that a girl shd gather courage to talk to her parents n say no to the proposal which demands such stuff...i agree...but it is very much impractical for a middle class family where a father spends his whole life for saving money for the marriage of his daughter...

    i believe a guy shd also awaken his conscience n gather enough courage to say no to dowry even if it means going against parents.

    a guy who values his self-respect,who believes in himself and is a 'MAN' won't indulge in such things.

  18. guys can certainly play a role in this issue but "only guys" ..thats totally unfair. Even if they can they wont.becoz the society will not let dem do it! a guy is not a god.convincing a woman is an uphill task in itself n convincing so many(moms,grand mom,aunties) is just impossible. when the emotional atyaachaar comes into play anybody is totally helpless.
    n as u said in case of a middle class family, rather than saying it impractical i wud say itz difficult.thats y i talked abt economical independence.girls r getting proper opportunity n they have to grab it.they have to study ,they have to get a job! y not? wats impractical abt this? they have an option to go against their family if they r reluctant. i agree , being physically weak is the constraint but the world is not a wrestling ring.they have to find a place for themselves. they have to earn a powerful status by themselves.nobody is going to bring it for them. everybody has to fight his/her own battle.
    i agree a guy wid self respect wont indulge it such behavior but lemme tell u (in case u r living in a dream world) there r many who dont even know wat self-respect is.they dont care abt anythng.All they can see is money n "anything for a penny".they wont let go the easy way of money making. dats y m talking abt the independent n bold women concept. let them get it for themselves. sacrifices to b made for pride not for the bloody family which dont even thinks twice before burning them alive.

  19. Well saumya,you showed some courage to come up with these views.I am curious to know from you whether you got the guts to reject a marriage proposal,if that family demand dowry.India has banned sati and many such pathetic customs,but somehow this dowry system survived.Despite all these laws,the families of girls give dowries to get their daughters married off.Well what i always felt is that,the ones who demand big sums arent looking for a partner for life,but just a cash balance.Why is that girls chokes to show the guts to say,i dont need a greedy guy who weighs dowry than me.Well,girls have to come forward to stop this menace.Regarding other aspects,well its upto girls to demand their financial independence.A confident girl wanting to work and earn,will be able to do it.But without looking for it,and just saying it as sacrifice isnt good.I have seen many girls who groom themselves to be trophy wives to well settled guys.Girls have to come forward to take their right rather than demanding womens reservation or anything.Indian constitution has given equal rights to men and women.If a handful women show courage to challange the system,more will follow.Look at narmada bachao andolan a prime example.


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