LIFE happened...

Lonely. Confused. Misunderstood. Life these days is in I-don’t-want-to-live-anymore phase. Living is but an uncalled-for burden. Things aren't literally working. I’m hating everything around. Everything. Succinctly, it’s hurting to be me. Nothing seems to heal-no music, no friends, no tears. Lost in life’s cobweb I'm struggling furiously to find my way. My writing skills are gridlocked. Words don’t come to me or rather I’m just too numb to feel and express (and I so very deprecate this fact). There are so many other things I wished I could do but I couldn't or didn't.

Though I kind of know what I do not want in life but I really don’t know what all things I actually yearn for.I even don’t know what all I can do, what I cannot. I don’t know what I deserve, what I do not. I don’t know what I should do, what I should not. Whoa , that's my present state of mind.

I hate to go to bed at night and then I hate it even more to wake up in the morning. Fake and blunt smiles outside ensconce the pain within. Folks, jokes and toasts do not please me. My quondam dreams are thrown into hell and I no more feel like fantasizing.

You ask me "What happened?"

And I reply " L.I.F.E dear...............'LIFE' happened"

Ehh??

Yeah!!

Behind.....

Behind the misty silence
Is a soul that cries so hard
Behind all those hope and wisdom
Is a fearful, brittle heart.

Behind all those laughter ripples
Is a pain that is kept hidden
Behind the walls of reasons
Are answers, unquestioned.

Behind the ties of space and time
Is a void that does not seem
Behind every journey that begins anew
Is a boulevard of broken dreams…..

She DIED….

She cried
No one bothered
She screamed
No one heard.

She was bruised
No one cared
Her happinesses even
ebbed unshared.

She tried to explain
No one understood
Her eyes all swollen
No one ever looked.

She even wrote
Alas! no one read
Elusive emotions
Remained unsaid.

Then one day
out of the blue
When ‘grey’ became
‘blackish hue’
She DIED….
(Yes ,an early demise…
No,it wasn't a suicide )

She DIED
And Everybody
Sympathized
(‘ poor soul ’,
they hyped)

WHY?
Tell me
WHY?

Grief

              I made you believe in 'YOU',

              you thrashed my belief in 'ME',

              I fought the world for 'YOU'

              you end up hurting 'ME'.......

It hurts!

Me:  (smilingly)  It's okay.Never mind.
She: You sure naa?
Me:  (a little more smilingly)  Yeah,I'm all fine dear.You carry on.
She:  I knew that.You are so good.Chal,see ya later!

"If only you could see a drop of tear, that fell from the left corner of my eye, just when you turned  back and how quickly I wiped it off."

      At times it hurts.It's just that we do not want to hurt back. But.......It hurts!